Loyalty

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To put things simply, for the last months I have been feeling like everything I ever believed in turns out to be questionable or a plain fake. Or maybe the things I used to believe in are the opposite of what I wanted to believe years ago and actually, nothing is based upon anything anymore. I wish I had been taught some values I could still live with, but I’ve always been so stubborn when it comes to making my own way and choosing my own beliefs… seriously, I don’t know what I want to hold on to, I just know I need to hold on to something. Otherwise I will drown (metaphorically, of course, I’m talking about morals).

I’m sorry if this seems vague or too abstract. I had a strange dream last night that someone said something rude about a family that has always been really nice to me, and in my dream I said “Don’t you dare have a go at the *insert family name here*s in front of me again! These are good people and they are like a second family to me, I’ve got nothing but compliments for them.” And the discussion went on… the things is, it reminded me of Hagrid’s loyalty to Dumbledore and how easy friendship was when I was in grade 9. My best friend and I would have walked through flames before we’d ever  “betray” each other or give away a little secret, or whatever. Now I don’t believe in best friends anymore.

Do I believe in loyalty? Yes, I do. I mean, I’m a Gryffindor (xD). I guess what I’m trying to say is… even when it seems like I’ve lost my values, I haven’t. I’m still a loyal Gryffindor. Go ahead and laugh. Some people don’t deserve it but there are some people in my life who are worth it, and I think right now more than ever I need to have my faith in loyalty restored. I was a disappointment to my best friend once, okay. I was betrayed by my best friend (a different best friend), true. But you can’t change the rules just because someone broke them.

Enough of this “loyalty vs. independence” nonsense.

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